A six day dinghy boat Thames cruise — 23-28 July 1990

(Dinghy + 2hp outboard cost £400)

8 months after moving to Brentford, I realised I was well-placed to get onto both the Thames and the Grand Union Canal, but the tidal river seemed intimidating in winter and I’m rather a heavy oldster for a small dinghy — it’s 16 years since I did any swimming (across the Congo river in Zaire, doing my back stroke), so it took a further 8 months of preparation and one sinking before I became fully aquatic, covering 190 miles in 3 weeks in 3 excursions to Lechlade, Little Venice and Westminster, wearing a buoyancy aid tied to my belt.

On 23 July at 6 am, after all-night preparations, I pulled my 7½’ polythene dinghy, called ET, on pram wheels the 250 yards to the slipway and launched in twilight at high tide. Fears about my stability in a new cut-down chair due to my weight proved unfounded and it made possible a more comfortable sitting position facing forwards (less danger of running into the bank).

Richmond half lock barrier lowered as I arrived, so I pulled the dinghy over the boat rollers, where there was a 30” long dead pike fish. The first four days were blazing hot as I progressed westwards at 4 mph, refuelling every hour from the 50 miles worth of petrol I started out with, at a similar speed to boats made from bath tubs that were paddled down the Thames for charity to Ham last week (2/9/90).

Surviving a swan attack at Weybridge, I covered 27 miles to Runnymede where a paddled dragon boat overtook me with a drum beating in its bows; I rested 14 hours there, due to lack of sleep Sunday night. Tuesday morning, I photographed ET with Windsor castle in the background, amidst swans. The highlight of Wednesday and the entire cruise was, of course, the magnificent Temple of Isis and Henley reach, where I refuelled and purchased ice-cream. Shortly before that, when I tied to a pontoon beneath long flight of stone steps leading to Culham Court Mansion to lock the carburettor adjusting screw, I found a piece of paper pinned up with a quiz written on it: ‘Question 6: Who chauffeured Lade Penelope? Clue 7 : To the south of an uninhabited island at the home of the tree frog.’

I shared Hambledon Lock with a cocktail boat towing swan uppers in rowing boats upriver. Wednesday evening was enlivened by sharing Caversham Lock (unmanned) in Reading with a cruiser crewed by ‘Laurel and Hardy’, who screamed at each other and crashed into the banks and gates.

The Kennet and Avon canal enters the Thames at Reading beneath huge rusty gasometers. To the west of the town, in the gathering dusk, I found it impossible to disembark and camp for many miles because there were so many anglers. The following morning over a beer at an inn near Whitchurch Lock, I met the occupants of two cruisers: one was a Canadian family and the other a lone man who told me he moors at Brentford Marina — he once failed to enter there by the lock from the Thames and ended up clinging helplessly to his craft in midstream, unable to climb on board. I threw away 6 packets of Complan powder food that had become damp. The sportyak is double skinned and very buoyant and stable, but doesn’t cut through waves. Eventually I rode cruiser wash by slowing down and turning sideways.

The Chiltern hills could be seen from a distance, but weren’t apparent in Goring Gap itself. I was once given a nautilus fossil in a Chiltern chalk quarry a foot across, weighing 10 lbs. Nearby, I passed a young woman in distress, trying to row a large inflatable in a strong wind against the bank. I told their team leader about her.

At the end of another 20 mile day, I pulled ET out at Clifton Hampden campsite with its medieval bridge. I had a meal at the Barley Mow Pub which was burnt down and flooded in 1987. By now, the river scene was rural. Friday started with Abingdon where I refuelled, moored to a mid-river restaurant with a Venus Flytrap plant for breakfast and got a lock keeper to photograph me next to the Canadian cruiser before he opened the gates. Oxford was a poor sight from the river in deteriorating weather, When I landed, I was able to photograph the college spires: after visiting the first lock on the Oxford Canal, I passed a narrow boat with a young couple laughing at me. He told me they had passed me 2 days previously on the Thames and here I was coming down the Oxford Canal. I photographed some large cygnets there by paddling quietly up to them.

(100 miles) I reached Eynsham campsite by the 5th evening, where I met a family moored to the bank from Ivinghoe, Bucks — after saving their daughter’s ball from the water — and a couple who moored their narrow boat in the Midlands, although they lived in Essex. A man from Birmingham helped me operate the lock since the lock keeper went home at 7 pm.

I needed to cover 24 miles on Saturday to reach Lechlade on 6th day; at the Maybush Inn, Newbridge, I was astonished to see a lifeboat collection box behind the bar. A man I’d seen on a narrow boat was standing next to me when a group of Japanese men were excitedly inspecting the pub shirt they had just purchased. He said that it had been made in Japan as well.

When I passed under Radcott Bridge in the evening, the line of moored cruisers opposite the Swan Inn all cheered me (I hope my sunflowers are all right). I hauled ET up a steep bank to an angler’s path, a pillbox and a field of sweetcorn, before Buscot Lock at 8.30 pm. The sky had cleared and I saw Mars and Saturn.

On Sunday I photographed the statue of Father Thames in St John’s Lock and continued passed Lechlade Bridge and the overgrown entrance to the Thames and Severn Canal for some miles with canoeists until long weed found my propeller. Apparently tall bulrushes blocked the way to Cricklade.

Back at Lechlade, I had a shower, laundry and a restaurant meal before camping next to the boat I’d met earlier at Eynsham. They gave me a cup of tea in the morning after I’d sheltered well from heavy rain using ET as a tent. On Monday I posted ET from Swindon by Red Star Parcels for £25.50 back to Brentford, where it arrived 9am Tuesday, and I stood it up in the corner of the dining room. I was given a taxi to Heathrow by National Coaches because there was no seat on the coach.