10th August 1990. Starting at 7am travelling at 7 mph with the ebb tide, having taken a day off from work because the machine wasn’t running, refilling the 1 litre petrol tank three times, the 14 miles to the House of Commons took two hours.

On a fine sunny day I had the looping river, with water birds and tree lined banks, to myself like being on a huge motorway punctuated by imposing bridges, recognising the various piers, chandleries, marinas, public houses and boathouses at Kew, Chiswick, Hammersmith and Putney, Fulham football ground (I saw a couple of matches there in 1956, when they had Jimmy Hill and Tosh Chamberlain playing for them), and the houseboats of Chelsea Wharf.

Although the embankment walls were high it was reassuring the number of landing points, and from Chelsea the realm of handsome monuments and buildings, such as Battersea Power Station, the golden Buddhist Temple in Battersea Park, and Westminster Abbey, commenced.

Unfortunately, Westminster Bridge was reached at half tide flood, and I was dissuaded from an attempt to pass under the northern arch by the sight of breaking waves to the east and the numerous passenger boats. I suppose the tide on the southern bank and an hour later on the inside curve of the river, would have been less fierce, and I might therefore have reached Tower Bridge since it was only a further 2½ miles away; however I saw Hungerford Bridge.

Returning west close to Parliament at only 2 mph as far as Lambeth Bridge, I decided to beach the craft on a south shore shingle bank near a pair of fire brigade launches testing their hoses, but my speed in midstream must have been below 1 mph. I waited there for two hours for the tide to turn at midday, photographing E.T. against Westminster, eating and watching men dismantling high scaffolding above.

The return journey took three hours, perhaps because I didn’t wait an hour for the tide to speed up, and I passed St. Mary’s church and the Clapham Heliport. Perhaps at the wharfs of Barnes Elm leach I saw a miniature ship standing precariously on the mud with the owners on deck, and there were more trees and herons at the tidal inlet at Chiswick Mall.

Three hours before high tide the Lots Ait channel was still devoid of water, so I beached E.T. opposite Kew Gardens and waited for 14 hours. A father and two sons came by in a small dinghy and landed at the disused boatyards that are infested with pigeons, and started fishing. It’s possible to walk round to the entrance to the river Brent, and boys from the council estate keep large blocks of polystyrene to use as punts during the short periods of time when the water is shallow. I found fresh water shellfish in the mud — apparently fossil marine shellfish can be found in the London clay at very low tide on the north bank at Hammersmith Bridge, but may need some digging. The London clay on the Isle of Sheppey, further up the Thames, deposits fossil seeds of tropical plants on their beaches that are 50 million years old.

Apparently E.T. decided to ‘phone home’ having completed his mission, because directly I pulled the starting handle there was a loud bang followed by silence! On inspecting a day later I found a hole in the side of the cylinder, from which needle roller bearings and a small damaged Allen screw fell out. I only had a 100 yards to paddle (I lost an oar at Cookham in July) to the slipway; home by 5pm.

The supplier repaired the outboard on guarantee but wrote to say that the Johnson’s Colt is only for pottering about and now I’ve got a larger vessel my only recourse is to obtain a larger 4 hp motor!!

Sportyak Dinghy supplier:

DUNSTABLE SPORTS BOATS GUILDFORD MARINE 130 WESTFIELD ROAD MAYFORD SURREY GU22 9QP TEL (0483) 756909 or; SEACOUNT MARINE, BOLTON.

Whilst writing this, a treacle sponge pudding exploded all over the kitchen!