I was fascinated by Aidan de la Mare's treatment of those matters we all produce but seldom discuss. He was modest about his own expertise in this arena - Windrift, his motor yacht is fitted out with all manner of devices for the convenience and comfort of his passengers. My favourite is the "pig's ear", a small plastic funnel for the use of gentlemen, which plugs directly into a length of flexible piping and in turn emerges via a bronze fitting in the hull.

Most of us use the bailer as he does; Andy Bolger and I used 'praying' as discrete slang for this. Make your own bailer from the sort of flexible one-gallon rectangular polythene container in which farmers sell scrumpy. Leave the lid on and cut the bottom off at a slight angle. It is just small and flexible enough not to get too much in the way around the boat, but it is sufficiently wide, when correctly shaped, to accommodate the female anatomy as well as serving the male DCA member. A smaller version made from a plastic milk bottle kept inside it can serve for awkward spaces and a sponge can double for other hygienic purposes.